Thursday, May 08, 2008

Excuse me, hands off my cervix

I was reading this story about gynecologists.

It made me think of the one time I went to the gynecologist (his name has been changed to protect his privacy) and he said, and I quote:

Dr. Strange: "You have a perfect cervix"
me: "um."
Dr. Strange: "no really, it;s like text book perfect."
me: "um. thanks?"
Dr. Strange: "Nurse Nunya business, come in here and look at this! She has a perfect uterus"
Nurse Nunya: "um"
me: closing my legs and looking terribly uncomfortable. "um, I have to go."

And I never returned again.

Have you ever had a weird gyno story? I seem to have a few.


paisana said...

Yes; once, my Ob-GYN told me that I was the "queen of relaxation!" I think that staring at the bajingo all day does strange things to the doc.

My favorite medical story though, is the one about the first year resident with negative bedside manner.

From my old blog:

Perky said...

Uh ... yeah.... ewwwwww!!!!! That's so strange!

My strange gyno story is this: a few years ago, I was at the gyno and talking to one of the nurses and she was asking me about my child (singular, NOT plural). I thought that was strange, but I figured she probably thought I'd adopted one kid, not two, from Russia. She asked how old he was and I said 5. She looked surprised and said, "Wow. It seems like it was only two or three years ago you were pregnant. I can't believe he's 5 already!". I stared at her and then reminded her that I'd had two miscarriages. "Oh, I know -- I mean the other one. The baby. You know....."

Ummmmmm......... I really think I'd remember giving birth to a baby, don't you? Apparently, the nurse thought I'd forgotten doing that. She was really convinced that her memory of my fertility/futility was better than mine.


Aunt Becky said...

Never had a bad gyno. Have had many, many weirdo dermatologists. So many that I refuse to go to any more.

R said...

You know, I don't really have a WEIRD OB/GYN story, but obviously have plenty of BAD OB/GYN stories, which is why I use midwives for all my well-woman care.

Diandra said...

THAT HAPPENED TO ME TOO! today, i went to a gyno, and he was like, "everything looks BEAUTIFUL on the outside. Now, lets look on the inside.....WOW, YOU HAVE A PERFECT CERVIX! IT'S LIKE A TEXTBOOK CERVIX! I WISH I HAD A CAMERA!" Mind you, when he was checking my breasts, with the clock method, he was singing, one o'clock, two o'clock, three o'clock, ROCK!