Thursday, September 20, 2007

A Pregnant Pause

My friend Anjali is pregnant. She miscarried TWICE last year and now she is 14 weeks and announcing her pregnancy with some trepidation (understandable). She would have been due the same time last year. Same pregnancy timeline - one year later.

Quite a pregnant pause.

She is joined in her pregnancy by my sister in law - now 14 weeks, and my babysitter 13.5 weeks.

They will all have March babies.

March is a wonderful time to have a baby. My little monster boy was born in March.

I begin to feel the pangs.

I waver hopelessly as I try to make the deciscion about another babe. SO may factors at play.

I think that we will have at least one more, maybe two.

And I think that we will stay in this house until our brood is in College and we will do a lot of camping as a family. And we will be challenged to get them all through school but somehow we will manage ( I hope) and in the end they will look back fondly on a fairly modest childhood experience.

Then I think that we will stick with two, move to Media and vacation in Ireland and other exciting (and expensive) locales. Our children will have no problem attending the school of their choice (if they get in) and they will recall the many glorious and exciting adventures abroad we were able to provide them in their childhood.

But in my soul I want another baby. Another toddler. Another sibling for my children already here. I want another phone call when they are grown and a place setting for the holidays.

I want this in a fundamental, basic way.

The only thing I have ever been sure of is the fact that I wanted to be a mom.

So. I myself am suffering from a kind of pregnant pause as we try to straddle day care bills and the possibility of another infant in full time care.

And I know some people will wonder why I want more children when I am not taking the time to raise the two already have and to them I say

well


Screw You!

I have done a very good job with the two I have so far, thank you very much. And I have infinite amounts of love and all the good stuff that matters.

So catch me again this time next year. When I have unpaused the baby machine.

And to all the babies on the way in March.

You are incredibly lucky to have such amazing, caring and wonderful women as your mommy.

I can't wait to meet you!
We will probably start trying in the spring.

2 comments:

Anjali said...

Thanks for the good wishes.

Most people don't regret having children, they regret not having children. Have fun with the trying!

Rachel said...

You do what is right for you and your family. You'll know when it is complete!!!