Tuesday, November 06, 2007

Big thoughts

I have been grappling with a lot lately.

And so I have been quiet. While I contemplate.

The big thoughts take some time.

Like when rape is happening to an entire country's worth of women at the rate of one every 15 seconds can you still call is rape or does it need some other definition?

What answers do I have for my children when they ask me why the bird flies but dogs don't that don't involve God?

Why is it that I sometimes feel like I am watching the play of someone else's life instead of living my own?

How is it that my parents were once as in love as me and my husband but somehow degenerated to where they are now? (and of course, how do I prevent it from happening to us?)

Why does my daughter construct conflict with her imagination?

What will the world be like when my little boy has a voice?

How do I get to a place where I am comfortable loving both my children equally but not the same?

What will I do when my dogs die?

Where will I be living next year?

Should my next child come from my womb or from social services?

How has our country sunk so low so fast?

Big thoughts. And I will work on the answers to them all.

I have been thinking about how my family will be dealing with the question of God and Santa and the myths surrounding them both.

I have been reading Parenting Beyond Belief (thank you Anjali) and have come up with answers that feel comfortable to me. I will share them when they are more solid and can be articulated.

Oh and California was wonderful. My father got angry and stopped talking to everyone on day two and no one seemed to mind. Had some wonderful bonding time with my brother, sister-in-law and my niece.

Here's another one for you? How is it that the love just comes so easily? I love my niece. In a similar way that I love my children. I would move planets for her. How is that?

But you can't question everything.

As much as I would like to try...

1 comment:

Mary said...

Yes, very big thoughts. Your blog is so fun to read- maybe not always "fun" depending on your topic- but definately thought provoking. Thanks.