There were a few things I never thought I would do as a parent. I never made any "I will never do x" proclamations but there were some things I just thought I would somehow avoid.
One of those things was cutting the crusts off of sandwiches.
But I am sorry. If I leave the crust on then she just barely eats half the sandwich in her overactive avoidance of coming in contact with the dastardly "brown stuff". Off they come.
So it is not so much that I do this that is the issue. Today I noticed that I have become quite proud of my skill at removing the crust. I can leave almost the entire piece of bread in tact. If I use the right knife...
And this morning I stood admiring my work in the kitchen and realized that I was proud of my crust cutting skill. And I am embracing that which I felt I should not have to do.
And so I started thinking about those other things I thought I would not do. And realized that there is a list of things I swear I will not do.
I will never berate my children.
I will never call my child stupid.
I will never pause when I feel like hugging them.
I will never be abusive.
And there is an even bigger list of things I swear I will do.
I will always say I love you when I think it.
I will snuggle with them every chance I get.
I will let them know how much I love them and their father every chance I get.
I will tell them I am proud whenever I feel it.
I will let them see me struggle.
I will bolster their confidence and downplay their failures.
I will do my best to make them confident that they are as wonderful as I think they are.
I will do my best to leave as much of the great stuff in tact, while removing the "brown stuff" with a skill to be proud of.
I will try my best to be the mom that is perfect for them. Not perfect. Just perfect for them.
Maya and I have a game.
"Maya, guess who I love more than you?"
"Maya, guess who I love more than Dean?"
I am tackling this whole loving your children equally but not the same, thing. Easy as pie.
No crust please.