A Pregnant Pause

My friend Anjali is pregnant. She miscarried TWICE last year and now she is 14 weeks and announcing her pregnancy with some trepidation (understandable). She would have been due the same time last year. Same pregnancy timeline - one year later.

Quite a pregnant pause.

She is joined in her pregnancy by my sister in law - now 14 weeks, and my babysitter 13.5 weeks.

They will all have March babies.

March is a wonderful time to have a baby. My little monster boy was born in March.

I begin to feel the pangs.

I waver hopelessly as I try to make the deciscion about another babe. SO may factors at play.

I think that we will have at least one more, maybe two.

And I think that we will stay in this house until our brood is in College and we will do a lot of camping as a family. And we will be challenged to get them all through school but somehow we will manage ( I hope) and in the end they will look back fondly on a fairly modest childhood experience.

Then I think that we will stick with two, move to Media and vacation in Ireland and other exciting (and expensive) locales. Our children will have no problem attending the school of their choice (if they get in) and they will recall the many glorious and exciting adventures abroad we were able to provide them in their childhood.

But in my soul I want another baby. Another toddler. Another sibling for my children already here. I want another phone call when they are grown and a place setting for the holidays.

I want this in a fundamental, basic way.

The only thing I have ever been sure of is the fact that I wanted to be a mom.

So. I myself am suffering from a kind of pregnant pause as we try to straddle day care bills and the possibility of another infant in full time care.

And I know some people will wonder why I want more children when I am not taking the time to raise the two already have and to them I say

well


Screw You!

I have done a very good job with the two I have so far, thank you very much. And I have infinite amounts of love and all the good stuff that matters.

So catch me again this time next year. When I have unpaused the baby machine.

And to all the babies on the way in March.

You are incredibly lucky to have such amazing, caring and wonderful women as your mommy.

I can't wait to meet you!
We will probably start trying in the spring.

Hasta

So I got my passport today!

Yippee and will wonders never cease~?~

And I am off to parts both known and unknown on Thursday. The folks arrive on Wednesday. I don't think they quite understand what they are in for...

BUT

My love and I are going on vacation.

v-a-c-a-t-i-o-n!

We plan to sit still as much as possible.

He is looking forward to the all inclusive alcoholic beverages and I am looking forward to the pillow and the lack of a toddler alarm clock.

mmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

vacation.

Passing on the Passport

This is the email I received from the passport office today! Please note the date I should expect my passport.

And then note the delivery option I chose.

What is the date today?

What reality is our government living in?

Now I understand their aversion to a timeline.

They clearly don't understand the concept.


We have finished processing your passport, and it has been mailed to you.
Your passport application locator number is (omitted from my security)

You paid for overnight delivery. This means you should receive your passport on or about 09/28/2007.

If you have any additional questions, you may contact the National Passport Information Center via e-mail at http://travel.state.gov/passport/about/npic/npic_896.html.

Please include the above locator number. It will enable them to update you on the status of your application. For more information about the National Passport Information Center, please visit us at http://travel.state.gov/passport/about/npic/npic_898.html.

Morning Musings

This morning I was in that half sleep that comes after you push the snooze button "one last time".

I was thinking about death. Seems to be around me a lot lately. Not sure why.

So I was thinking about being buried in the earth and that to be buried in anything less than a full wooden box you have to be in Oregon, the only state that allows this. And how expensive would it be to fly my body to Oregon just to avoid the cost of a fancy wooden box. No really, how expensive? Now if I was already there, that would be a different matter.

And then I was thinking that what I would really like is a funeral pyre. Very majestic.

And then I was wondering about the smell involved. And I wondered if native americans found themselves strangely hungry after smelling their loved ones flesh roast.

And then I was a native american princess laying on a funeral pyre. (did I mention I was drowsing?) And as I lay there I looked over and saw a pig roasting and a feast being prepared. And I thought aha! So they cooked a pig at the same time and then had a big feast afterward. That TOTALLY makes sense.

And in my dream (are you following this?) I looked down on my body and thought. This is the way it should be. This is the right way to go.

And then they lit the flame. And I thought WOW. Impressive display.

And then I thought wait. This kind of tickles.

And then I thought. Wait. This kind of itches.

And then my body on the pyre opened her eyes. And I thought.

WAIT!

I'm not dead.

And in my mind I thought of that movie with Michele Pfeifer where her husband gives her that drug that makes it so she can't move.

And from my funeral pyre I turn my frantic eyes to my father. As he stands beside me mourning the passing of his lovely daughter (for this performance the role of my father will be played by some random native american man) and I beseech him to look up at me using only my eyes.

And for one awful moment it seems like he won't and then - He does!

He looks up and is startled by the fact that my eyes are open. And I think YES!

He sees me, he sees that I am still alive. I will be saved.

And he does see. And he steps toward me.

And

He

Smiles

And I realize that I will burn alive on this funeral pyre because my father killed me.

And then the alarm went off.

And Good morning to me.

Passport Passion

So I am not sure where this is going but I am feeling a little like all the little children that have in fact been left behind.

The government changed the rules.

You now have to have a valid US Passport to travel to Mexico, Canada and the Caribean. New rules. New day. New security.

BUT.

Much like everything else this administration has done - they didn't consider the consequences. Bush's administration seems to be incapable of forethought.

So summer comes along. THOUSANDS of people would like to travel and THOUSANDS of people apply for passports. No problem right?

They had to see this coming, after all it was THEIR IDEA. So they planned ahead. Temporary staff people were employed to meet the rising demand. Departmentswere streamlined, the process made more efficient. And the world travelers received their passports in a timely manner and went forth to the sunny beaches around the world.

RIGHT?

well. um. no.

NO extra staff. NO prepared passport department. NO planning for a program they knew was coming for more than a year.

NO F'ING WAY!

How is this ineptitude acceptable?

SO. I leave for Mexico next Thursday. I don't have a passport. I have a piece of paper that says I applied for an EXPEDITED (3 day turn around promised) passport over 3 weeks ago.

And apparently that will be enough.

How secure.

How very well thought out.

This administration seems very capable of taking a bad idea and making it even worse.

I will vent about this as I sit in the room of my resort with my included free alcoholic beverage of choice. I will also vent about it as I lay on the beach or maybe while I am frolicking with the dolphins.

That is of course unless I fall victim to hurricane J or K...not sure where we are in the alphabet at the moment.

Then I will sit at home. Pissed as all hell.

Just wait for that post.

Maybe you should prepare now.

Bad Manners

My little girl picks her nose.

And eats it.

We have tried telling her that this is bad manners. We also told her it's gross.

It's not like she does it all the time but when she does - Ewwww.

She also sits on the couch and plays with her (ahem) privates.

We have told her that this is also bad manners.

During her bath the other day she told me that:
"penises go in bums".

I told her that is not usually true.

I then had to have a talk with my three year old about sex. Ya know, a little talk about inappropriate touching, basically letting her know that no one should be putting their penis (or anything else for that matter) any where near her bum.

Agh!

I want her to stay young forever. And by young I mean innocent. AND I want to prepare her for this crazy world that we live in without scaring her into hibernating in her room until she's 20 and a black belt.

And I want to be prepared for this world and not feel tempted to hibernate in my room.

And I hate that this is the world. Where little girls go missing and are found...not little girls anymore, if at all.

It makes me so sad that this is the possibility. That this is what I have to watch out for, prepare for. And that my "family friends" are the prime suspects.

My SIL was molested by the man who basically raised my FIL because his father was too much of an alcoholic to take on the task. My husband bears this man's middle name in honor of that relationship.

And then this honorable man, molested an eight year-old girl.

But this is not a post about the past. It is a post about the future.

I want to raise my child to be strong and fierce in her determination to protect herself and those she loves. I want her to be confident in her no's and in her strength or purpose.

I want her to have bad manners when she needs them.

And. I want her to stop picking her nose and eating it.

Oh if only that were my only concern.