Much like many parents I wasn't sure what would happen when the second child arrived. I wasn't all that confident that I would feel the same way. Would love as strongly. Feel that same connection.
And when Dean arrived. I didn't.
Maya was already this person. This personality. He was just a blob.
Such a good baby. Such a sweet little soul. Oh I loved him and if you had asked me then I would have told you that I felt the same way about him as I did about my daughter.
I would have been lying. And I don't think I knew it. No one really knew it.
Except maybe Dean.
Dean suffered from second child syndrome. He was the baby we just tried to appease as we met the needs of our vocal and often whining 2-3 year old. And some day when I was not quite paying attention the sweet and adorable baby turned into an equally charming young toddler and I am not sure I saw all that.
I certainly wasn't watching as closely as I did with his sister. With Dean it was more about milestones and less about Dean. Is he sitting up, is he walking, how many words does he say?
I am glad to say that this has changed. A change brought about in small part by my daycare but also by me, my husband and most importantly, by Dean.
For a boy of few words - he says a lot.
So my little boy turned two and I know a lot more about him than I did when he was one. His life has doubled since then. My attention to him has too.
Dean likes: Spiderman, Superman and any other "man". He likes trucks and cars and loves his daddy's Mustang. He still loves Dora but he and Diego are becoming fast buds.
He ADORES anything meat. He will scarf hotdogs and steak and chicken and - well, meat with happy abandon and will eat so much he gets sick if you let him.
He still wants to try everything his sister does but he is is becoming more selective in the items he agrees with her on. He is good at sharing and taking turns and understands fully when you tell him that he will get a turn. He points to his chest and says "Nudge" which is his closest attempt at his name and also our nickname for him.
He loves musicals (Yes!) and sings and dances when Annie comes on. He also requests said CD in the car at least twice a week.
He is ferocious in his hugs and says the word clearly when he wants one. He snuggles up to you when you are sitting on the couch and will often pat me gently as if to reassure himself that I am still there, eyes still on the TV.
And I can say with open honesty that I do in fact love him just as much as I love his sister. Only differently.
He is becoming independent and assertive. He is becoming patient and understanding.
He is becoming Dean.
And I am honored to be his mom.