I went to the doctor for my post op check up. Everything looks good I am healing and can resume all regular activity.
I got to sneak a look at my file and looking at the surgery pics and reading the report from the lab that dissected my tube was depressing.
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And then I got a call from my brother and my little nephew has joined us on this side of the velvet belly!
He was born around noon our time and seems happy and healthy. No name yet but no surprise there since Raya went nameless for almost 2 weeks.
And I got to hear him cry.
Do you know that physical reaction you have to all newborns when you are a new mom? I don't mean the breast contraction but the emotional tug? well.
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And yet so very exciting at the same time!
I am thrilled to be a new aunt and I CANNOT WAIT to meet my new little nephew.
But my ftube-baby was described as a "product of conception" on the test results I saw this morning.
I am having a no good very bad sort of fun all excited kind of day!
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4 comments:
How bittersweet . . . .
:( Hang in there.
And you're clearly referencing great songs and books. "I'm bringing home my baby bumble bee - won't my mommy be so proud of me?"
I know this time is hard. I remember when I was trying to get pregnant, seeing my friends' new babies always left me feeling so conflicted: happy for them but so depressed for us.
I don't at all want to sound like a cliche, but this too shall pass. It WILL get better. And as it does, keep writing! It's fabulous therapy!
I have come to loathe that term, "products of conception." I heard it way too many times for way too many months.
"Miscarriage" sucks, too. There needs to be a new language for pregnancy loss.
Hang in there.
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