"mommy you're fat..."
This from my four year old daughter as she sits on the toilet. I am in the shower and accordingly, I am naked.
"what did you say?" I ask as a stall, I heard her just fine.
"mommy you are fat"
"yes baby, I know I am fat."
pause as she moves on to another topic and I wonder if I handled this right.
So after some thought I add:
"you know Mai it's not a good thing to tell someone they are fat. They might not like it."
This after I envision the many weight check ins she is giving random people at the store.
"but you are fat" is her response.
"yes, I am. And it is okay to talk to mommy about being fat but it's kind of ... bad manners...to tell other people that they are fat."
"but you do have a fat belly."
I struggle with this. Not my weight. She's right. No struggle there.
But to her pointing out my weight is much like pointing out the color of my hair - just a fact, neither good or bad. It just is and I don't want that to change.
But I know it will. She will become judgmental just as she will become judged.
And one day she will use the word "fat" as a weapon, just as I am sure it will be used against her.
And that is not a prediction of her future weight, just her future girlhood.