Tuesday, August 19, 2008

Marriage in Real Life

I'm following along from Absolutely Bananas, which may be illegal (I don't know the rules). But oh well, I am a rebel.

Hmmm. I have often told people that my husband is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. And I can honestly say that there is nothing that I would not tell my husband. And I can think of very little that he doesn’t already know about me.

We are each other’s secret keepers. He is the first person I think of when something exciting happens. He thinks that I am sexy, funny and smart and I think he is insane for thinking that but I go along with it because that’s my kind of insanity. And the truth is, I feel the same way about him.

He is my best friend. And he is a terrific person and father. And as much as I am enjoying raising kids with him I am always aware that he and I will be it some day and we have to make sure we don’t lose sight of that.

Together we make sacrifices for our kids and we put their happiness and health before our own but I don’t put them before us, if that makes any sense. They are these wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring creatures that we marvel over together. Our love made that. They are the embodiment of Us. But someday they will leave. And it will just be us again.

So he leaves empty clothes hangers on the doorknob and he changes the atmosphere of a room when he walks into it (by turning on the fan, changing the tv channel or even adjusting the lights) but he is always there for me. And he knows me. Truly knows me. And he’s still here.

And one thing that is essential in our marriage: we are each other’s greatest cheerleaders.
I will root for him until I lose my voice if I have to. I will remind him about all of the wonderful things that make me love and respect him more every day. And I make sure to do this when he needs it most and when he doesn’t need it at all. And he does the same for me.

I do feel that many marriages fail when one person thinks they are somehow better than their partner. I do not feel superior. I do not feel inferior. We are partners in this together, each strong in our own way. And we bolster each other’s weaknesses and support our individual strengths.

Marriage is hard. It takes work, and compromise and COMMUNICATION. Communication is key. If you don't keep the dialog open then you will be lost. We talk about everything and nothing and we talk several times a day. We learned early on that if you don't talk about it that it will just become something between you, and nothing should ever be between you. Make the time and be brave. Talk about the things that you know might hurt their feelings but have to be said. But make sure you do it all with love. Words are powerful weapons and need to be treated as such. If you can't talk, you will be lost...

Again, marriage can be hard. But for me, the alternatives were impossible to consider. I cannot imagine traveling through this world with anyone but him. He makes the colors brighter and the journey fun. Even as his temper flares and I am forced to watch the Speed channel for the 500th time - I am happy.

And that is my marriage in real life.


marye said...

awesome post. :)
I think that we do need to be eachother's cheerleaders, after all, who else is gonna do it?

IRISHKAT said...

Sounds like a great marriage!

Bananas said...

alright you little rebel, following is not illegal, it's expected... especially when you come up with something fabulous like this post! ;)

but um... it's B-A-N-A-N-A-S... just for the record. (wink)

Hope to see more of you! And, btw, I love your blog name.