Thursday, August 14, 2008

I'm back

So I feel like I have had many posts floating around in my head and absolutely no time to write them down.

Things have been hectic at work and the death toll here is at 3. Meaning I had to fire 3 people in the last two weeks. And it is a horrible thing to have to fire someone.

But it is better for the company and probably, in the long run, better for them... at least that's what I tell myself.

And I have had other employee drama that I won't even go into but makes me wish my firing gun were bomb instead of a rifle and I could just make a clean sweep...

But not really.

I had an occasion to sit down with my scrap books last night, thank you mothers and more, and got to relive my kids. From birth until, whenever I last stopped scrap booking. In my daughter;s case that was 1yr and in my son's 1 month... Actually that sort of works in terms of the differences in their ages and all.

And during this process I got to read their birth stories. I wrote a one page description of the day (or in Maya's case - days) of their birth.

It was a fun trip down memory lane. And I enjoyed every minute of it.

And it made me remember just how much I loved those infant months. Such a perfect little bundle of potential and love. So dependent and cuddly. I can remember the smell of each of them. Perfection.

Lately I have been leaning toward adopting an older child as the final resolution to our family circle. There are a number of reasons but the main ones are:
a) because not that many people adopt children older than infants
b) already potty trained
c) No frantic chasing around, pulling your hair out, post-ambulatory, pre-logic and reason stage.

But I got to tell you. I could do it. As much as there are so many reasons not to, I could so have another infant.

And when I looked at those little baby photos the money, and timing, and other incredibly realistic reasons just disappear. poof.

And I am back to wanting to take another roll on the genetic craps table.

Ready to risk explosion and hospitalization and the truly staggering hospital bills that come along with it.

All of that.

for that little person I created.

And I got to tell you as I watch my children get older and my daughter become this little individual I become even more convinced that we should have another baby.

Because, my husband and I, we do damn good work.

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