I never promised you a Biden Post

Oh okay, so I did.

Here's the clif's notes version of my thoughts on the subject.
I have stated before that I feel that it is imperative that Obama surround himself with BTDT people. Experienced, intelligent people. People who don't all think like he does but are as intelligent and THINKING as he seems to be.

And the good news is that Obama seems to feel that way too. I was rooting for Biden in the early days of the race for the dem ticket. Biden is a man who has walked the walk and knows the talk - even though he clearly doesn't know when to NOT talk the talk. He does tend to say what he really thinks doesn't he? And that's why he won't be president. Ironic that his comments about his now running mate effectively ruined his chances - isn't it?

But I think Obama chose an excellent vice president. In fact of the pool he had to choose from I think he made the best choice. For his administration and for our nation. Biden will make a strong and excellent VP.

I am just not sure Obama selected a good running mate.

And let me say with no malice intended that most of America is not very...um...informed. They don't understand what Biden is bringing to the candidacy. He is not a Washington star (except maybe in Washington), most people don't know (or understand) what he has done and continues to do for our country. To most Americans he is just a senator from Delaware. And Delaware is a tiny, not really good for much, state.

And I am sure that the democrats are hoping that Biden will help them carry Pennsylvania since we are kissing cousins but I am not so sure their confidence is well placed.

Only time will tell.

I for one am more certain that this an administration that can make a difference if elected. I for one was worried that he chose a running mate with substance and not for flare. This is a vice presidential choice that is well made. Obama/Biden can make some real progress.

If they get elected.

And I for one am going to vote for them. Oh, me and the 18 million Hillary supporters. Or at least they better after the speeches that Bill and Hillary gave on the subject. If you only saw the excerpts you didn't get the whole story. They were each very impressive.

Hillary's speech was truly presidential and Bill proved that he can (and will) in fact fight the good fight with Obama despite what happened leading up to this point. They are true party supporters and it was fun to see.

If you're into that kind of stuff.

Which I am.

Apparently.

Because Clif would be appalled at how long winded I was...

Happy Birthday Grandmama

It is my grandmother's birthday. She has been 100 years old (if you ask her) since I was old enough to ask and so I am pretty sure today she turns 126 or there abouts. Or 91ish in real life.

I was going to write a post about Biden and what I think his selection as Obama's VP means but instead I will post the birthday letter I wrote to me grandma. Because she rocks and is amazing and wonderful and I am honored to have known her, let alone loved and been loved by her.

oh, and for purposes of this letter you should know (if you don't already) that I am adopted.


Dear Mama Rita,

Daddy told me recently that when they first brought me home you didn’t think of me as your grandchild and said as much to daddy. He went on to say that he made it clear to you that if you couldn’t love me as much as you loved Michael then he wasn’t sure when you would see us again.

It made me cry. Not because I wondered how you could feel that way but because I know the ending of the story.

You quickly came around and you loved me. And as dad said, pretty soon he had to remind you that you had a grand son too, because you were so taken with me, and I with you.

The story surprised me only because I have never once doubted your love for me and I hope you can say the same for me.

Because I love you. And I have loved you always.

Happy Birthday Lady.

With Much Love from your granddaughter.

Me.

Take the time to honor those in your life with the words in your heart. She is old and won't be here much longer (I hope for her sake) so I am taking every opportunity I can to make sure she knows how much I love her.

Have a great Rita's 91st birthday day!

And don't worry, I will chime in on Biden tomorrow...

The "I was gonna post" post

I was going to post here about how I was going to post today because most of the people who's blogs I read regularly seem not to have posted today. So clearly everyone needs something fun to read and I was going to do my part for internetmanity, humanernet, humaninternity. (I wish I knew how to do that fun cross out trick right about now...)

But.

Then I thought about the fact that everyone who I regularly read hasn't posted because they are on vacation or are busy doing something in (gasp) real life!

And.

Since they are the people who read my blog, they won't be reading blogs either. So I don't have to post.

So I am not going to bother.

(but I did anyway. see how I did that? Lately I am too damn crafty for my own good)

If you are "out there" reading, and you have had experience with an ectopic prenancy, I have a question. How long did it take you before your system was regular again?

I am about to go insane and should really own stock in ept by now...and it's been 5 months for Chrissake!

Hope you are all enjoying your vacations.
Traitors.

Things to Avoid doing with your 4 year old

I should lead here with 1. spend time together. Based on the week I have been having with my daughter but I won't. (but still I did - see how I fooled you?)

1. Don't watch movies about orphanages (Annie) or Orphans (James and the Giant Peach). How do you explain the concept of an orphanage to a toddler. No matter what you say you end up here: "But where are their parents?". I also include James and Giant Peach in this category because trying to explain that the insects were his family is tough!

2. Don't have conversations about marriage and love. When my daughter talks about marriage now she leads with "one day I will find a boy or a girl that I love so much that I will want to spend my whole life with them". While it is nice that she is paying attention I feel like I somehow brainwashed her??? oh well.

3. Don't disagree with them. Lately I feel like I should just concede from the start to make it easy on both of us. She is so very sure about her opinions that I am sure that she somehow went from 3 to 16. oh and yes, I know that I am in trouble. BIG BIG trouble.

4. Don't discuss morality and ethics. So far we have gotten to the concept that sometimes good people do bad things but that does not make them bad and sometimes bad people will do good things. And that when you steal because you need something for your very survival it is somehow not as bad as stealing something just because you want it. And then I am lost. And she is loster. And my husband is laughing his ass off.

5. Don't lie to them. They remember everything and talk about leading by example. Just. don't. do. it.

I'll stop here basically because I have run out of venom (which is good) and time (which is bad). Are there any things that you have discovered don't mix well with toddler?

Let me know so I can do my best to avoid them.

Oh and tomorrow I will try and post some things that are great to do with a four year old. The top of that list at the moment is sleep...

Marriage in Real Life

I'm following along from Absolutely Bananas, which may be illegal (I don't know the rules). But oh well, I am a rebel.


Hmmm. I have often told people that my husband is not perfect, but he is perfect for me. And I can honestly say that there is nothing that I would not tell my husband. And I can think of very little that he doesn’t already know about me.

We are each other’s secret keepers. He is the first person I think of when something exciting happens. He thinks that I am sexy, funny and smart and I think he is insane for thinking that but I go along with it because that’s my kind of insanity. And the truth is, I feel the same way about him.

He is my best friend. And he is a terrific person and father. And as much as I am enjoying raising kids with him I am always aware that he and I will be it some day and we have to make sure we don’t lose sight of that.

Together we make sacrifices for our kids and we put their happiness and health before our own but I don’t put them before us, if that makes any sense. They are these wonderful, amazing, awe-inspiring creatures that we marvel over together. Our love made that. They are the embodiment of Us. But someday they will leave. And it will just be us again.

So he leaves empty clothes hangers on the doorknob and he changes the atmosphere of a room when he walks into it (by turning on the fan, changing the tv channel or even adjusting the lights) but he is always there for me. And he knows me. Truly knows me. And he’s still here.

And one thing that is essential in our marriage: we are each other’s greatest cheerleaders.
I will root for him until I lose my voice if I have to. I will remind him about all of the wonderful things that make me love and respect him more every day. And I make sure to do this when he needs it most and when he doesn’t need it at all. And he does the same for me.

I do feel that many marriages fail when one person thinks they are somehow better than their partner. I do not feel superior. I do not feel inferior. We are partners in this together, each strong in our own way. And we bolster each other’s weaknesses and support our individual strengths.

Marriage is hard. It takes work, and compromise and COMMUNICATION. Communication is key. If you don't keep the dialog open then you will be lost. We talk about everything and nothing and we talk several times a day. We learned early on that if you don't talk about it that it will just become something between you, and nothing should ever be between you. Make the time and be brave. Talk about the things that you know might hurt their feelings but have to be said. But make sure you do it all with love. Words are powerful weapons and need to be treated as such. If you can't talk, you will be lost...

Again, marriage can be hard. But for me, the alternatives were impossible to consider. I cannot imagine traveling through this world with anyone but him. He makes the colors brighter and the journey fun. Even as his temper flares and I am forced to watch the Speed channel for the 500th time - I am happy.

And that is my marriage in real life.

Two scenes in the life of a four year old

Scene 1
Mom and two kiddos are driving home from school. The oldest, and the girl, has received a sweets bag from one of her teachers.
"mommy, can I have a candy when I get home?" says the girl.
"after dinner" says the mommy
"mommy sweets too?" asks the little boy.
"no, sweetie, this is your sister's special treat and -"
"no mommy,"interrupts the girl "I'll share with him. I want to share with him." she says.
mommy sits in stunned silence in the front seat.
"because," the little girl explains further, "if I don't share with him, he won't have any candy and he might be sad."
mommy tears up and can't say anything at all.


Scene 2
Later that day Mommy is putting her little girl to bed. Feeling especially loving she cuddles on to her little girl's bed and kisses her gently on her forehead.
"mommy loves you very much." she says kissing her again. "and I want you to know that I was very proud of you today"
"Why?" asks the little girl, snuggling in and enjoying the kisses and the cuddles.
"because you shared your special treat with your brother" mommy explains "That was a great big sister thing to do and I am very proud of you."
The little girl smiles and kisses her mommy. They both enjoy a special cudddle moment. And then-
"so what does that mean that I get?" the little girl asks expectantly.

And the moment is gone.

"my most sincere congratulations." mommy says with a light pat on her arm as she pulls away with a hidden smile and a shrug.

I'm back

So I feel like I have had many posts floating around in my head and absolutely no time to write them down.

Things have been hectic at work and the death toll here is at 3. Meaning I had to fire 3 people in the last two weeks. And it is a horrible thing to have to fire someone.

But it is better for the company and probably, in the long run, better for them... at least that's what I tell myself.

And I have had other employee drama that I won't even go into but makes me wish my firing gun were bomb instead of a rifle and I could just make a clean sweep...

But not really.

I had an occasion to sit down with my scrap books last night, thank you mothers and more, and got to relive my kids. From birth until, whenever I last stopped scrap booking. In my daughter;s case that was 1yr and in my son's 1 month... Actually that sort of works in terms of the differences in their ages and all.

And during this process I got to read their birth stories. I wrote a one page description of the day (or in Maya's case - days) of their birth.

It was a fun trip down memory lane. And I enjoyed every minute of it.

And it made me remember just how much I loved those infant months. Such a perfect little bundle of potential and love. So dependent and cuddly. I can remember the smell of each of them. Perfection.

Lately I have been leaning toward adopting an older child as the final resolution to our family circle. There are a number of reasons but the main ones are:
a) because not that many people adopt children older than infants
b) already potty trained
c) No frantic chasing around, pulling your hair out, post-ambulatory, pre-logic and reason stage.

But I got to tell you. I could do it. As much as there are so many reasons not to, I could so have another infant.

And when I looked at those little baby photos the money, and timing, and other incredibly realistic reasons just disappear. poof.

And I am back to wanting to take another roll on the genetic craps table.

Ready to risk explosion and hospitalization and the truly staggering hospital bills that come along with it.

All of that.

for that little person I created.

And I got to tell you as I watch my children get older and my daughter become this little individual I become even more convinced that we should have another baby.

Because, my husband and I, we do damn good work.

AAAARGGGGH!

I am so frustrated right now!

I am not sure what is upsetting me more but unfortunately I have a lot of areas to choose from.

AAAARGH!

(and to top things off I am now a pirate)

I Promise to post more tomorrow but I needed to send this virtual scream out into the internet.

Can you hear it echoing?

Hold the Veggies Please

The name of my blog may seem misleading once you've finished reading this post. But maybe not.

I am not Christian. Nor am I Jewish. In fact I am not religious.

At all.

I describe myself as agnostic. I am exploring the world and the religions that exist within it to discover if there is one group of thoughts and ideas that match what I feel to be true. For me that means I am still asking the questions. Still trying to find my own personal answers.

I want this for my children. I want them to be good moral people. But I want it to be because they KNOW that it is the right thing to do. Not because some huge powerful force or writing in a book tells them to be that way.

I want to raise good humans. Good caretakers of the world and the beings on it. I want my children to understand how important love and respect are so that they will treat others well.

I also want to raise questioning beings. Children who do not always choose the easiest way and know that the best choices are usually the hardest choices to make.

So I will probably raise two evangelical Christian republicans. But until they make that choice (which is their choice to make) I am doing my best to make sure they understand what I want for them.

And so today I asked my daughter's teacher not to show Veggie Tales in class.

Let me say that this was an awkward conversation. It is hard to know just how offended people will get when you tell them that you do not want your children watching shows or reading books with God in them.

But to their credit they handled it well. And apparently when my daughter was much younger I had a conversation with them about some religious book they had in the class room and so my daughter's teacher said:
"Oh I know that about Maya"
and it made me feel that in my trying to make sure she is not labeled with one religion or the other, I am still labeling her. Oh well.

So my kids are the kids who can't watch Veggie Tales.

And let me say that I don't make decisions without knowledge. And so I did in fact watch Veggie Tales with my kids one day.

The main three veggies were working in a manufacturing plant and were being treated unfairly. They rebelled against the main guy in defense of one of their friends. (Good moral teaching - strength of character,etc so far I'm on board.)

Then the bad guy rounded them up and threw them all into a big melting pot in an effort to burn them alive. (what?!?!?!)

And then a great white light blasted out of the melting pot. The evil henchman sauntered over to see what that was all about and relayed to his boss that he saw a bright light and "another person" in their with them. And this person was all in white and shiny, etc etc.

(And they lost me.)

hmm. So these main characters weren't able to save themselves but instead had a visit from a higher power in their magical melting pot and were saved?

So I explained to my daughter about Jesus and God and how some people believe...etc etc etc.

And these are discussions I am happy to have with my kids. But I want to have them. Because I am not sure how to answer questions about the man in white that saved the veggies that doesn't make this mysterious person sound like any other mythical super hero. I am not sure how to impress upon them just how much more important Jesus is to some people than say, Spiderman is.

Because if you think about objectively. Jesus is a superhero - maybe the first ever. And he has some pretty great super powers, not the least of which is his ability to come back from the dead.

So I will work on my delivery and in the mean time, for the first time in their young lives, I am encouraging my children to stay away from the vegetables.

It is done