Tuesday, August 21, 2007

Talking to Goddie

My daughter has an imaginary friend. Well, two actually but for now we'll focus on Goddie (sounds like gawdy). She was just in the bathroom talking to Goddie.
She was telling he/she that he/she could go and stamp while she was in the potty.
"Go ahead" she yelled. As though Goddie were in the dining room with me.

It's odd really. I don't particularly care for her pretend friends. They are always telling her she can't do something or have something and they have on more than one occasion, contradicted me.

And Maya seems to listen to them.

I am not at all sure what to make of this. Tim thinks it's funny that she chose Goddie as a name.

We don't talk about God in our home. We don't pray. Jesus Christ is just a curse I feel okay saying in front of my 3 year old.

Yesterday when I was leaving daycare the new teacher told Maya to be a good girl.
"Go home, eat dinner, have a bath, and pray and go to bed."

I wasn't sure what upset me more, her conviction that we pray (because clearly everyone does) or the fact that she assumes that we give our children baths every night...

But Maya is sick. And when I called in to check on her, I got one of the daycare owners on the phone, by chance. And so I mentioned it. Assuring her that I was not at all angry, I just wanted her to mention it to the teacher so that I didn't have to worry about her talking about God and religion to my child.

And here's the thing.

I am not at all angry. I am sure that there will be many more instances when people assume things about me, my daughter, and my family (like the common mistake that we are all Italian). I just want to let my daughter make these choices by herself, when she is ready. I want her to go to temple with her jewish friends(one of my favorite religions by the way), and Christmas mass with her Catholic friends, or celebrate with her muslim friends (first she'll need to make some). I want her to explore and learn on her own.

I want her to realize that I am not making this decision for her. I want to guide her as little as I can while she is still so young that she takes everything I say as gospel (forgive the pun).

I don't want to say things like "well we don't believe in praying".

And I know that I am over analyzing this and that everyone, every person, finds their own path here, in their own way. And I know that I can have high hopes for my daughter and her quest for knowledge. And maybe it won't matter. And maybe she won't care.

Or maybe she'll learn what I did.

No matter what the religion, it is the people that matter. Whether you are a good christian, muslim, jew, or other, you must first be a good person.

That is what I want to raise.

(oh and I would like her to be happy, healthy, well adjusted and like me enough when she is out of the house to call at least once a week...)

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