Tuesday, January 23, 2007

Gratitude

I was taught my please and thank yous early.

I am trying to do the same with my children. I believe that manners and respect for others is imperative.

I was also taught to write a thank you note. I know that not everyone is and somehow I just can't get past how rude I think it is when I do something for someone and don't even get acknowledged, much less a thank you. It makes me mad that I am so...classist?

I don't mean class in the traditional use of the word because I don't think that good manners are an upper class thing. Actually, I think the opposite is true in many cases. I do think that a "classy lady" is one that is quick and sincere with her please and thank yous.

I wish I were more altruistic. I wish I did good deads simply for the doing of them.

I am not. I want a thank you.

The weird thing here is that I am okay with no thank yous when I do something for someone in crisis. I understand that stress can strip away your please and thank you. I am somehow understanding of the actions I truly do because someone is hurting or in need. I expect no thank you then.

The irony is that this is also when you are most likely to get a thank you or a note.

Hell, an email thank you is more than appropriate in today's world.

I once sent a thank you note for a birthday present (which I have never actually agreed with) and received a note in return. My father insisted that I write a thank you note back. I refused. Several weeks later the woman asked my father if I had ever received her note.

I know this tactic because I use it myself. The actual question here is - "Don't you have manners enough to at least ackowledge my kind act?". In this case I thought a thank you note FOR a thank you note was just a bit much.

I send a card or email when I go to a friend's for dinner. I think that acknowledging the work they did and the good time we had is worth the time and the stamp.

I have little patience for those who can't even say thank you when you have done them a favor. While this will certainly not end a friendship, it will stop me from helping next time.

I just needed to vent.

Thank you for listening.

(see? how hard was that?)

1 comment:

Sue said...

Okay yes I am really back tracking on your blog but you would really like my mom. We have her over for dinner and a few days later there is a thank you note in our mail box. Not only a thank you note but a very detailed thank you note regarding what ever we did for her. It took me awhile to realize how rare that really is.