1. I don't know how to read a pregnancy test
2. I am not pregnant
3. I wouldn't be upset if I was pregnant
4. I would definitely like to have a third child (today anyway)
5. My husband is not ready
6. He may never be
Hmmmm. That's a lot for one day.
I'm going to bed.
With my husband. After kissing my little ones good night.
It was a good day.
And next time, I will read the package - BEFORE I pee on the stick...
My love asked my why I am so sure that I want a third child now, after the miscarriage, when I was not so sure before we got pregnant.
I had to think about it and I think that miscarrying before you have an infant is very different than when you have other children. I am not saying one is harder than the other - I have no idea and I don't think in my heart that is true - just different.
I know what I lost. I know the love I feel for my children and for one day my heart stretched to accomodate that next little princess or practically perfect little boy. And now I have stretch marks and a little empty space that wasn't there before.
My life feels a little empty. Just a tiny spot of empty.
But infants are tiny.
And they are the entire world.