Friday, June 06, 2008

Making the Cut

My daughter was looking at my son as I changed his diaper last night and said. "His penis looks just like daddy's"

I find it amusing because I am sure her father would not take the comparison well. tee hee. But also because my son is uncircumcised. And many people tell me that they chose to circumcise their son so that he would look like his dad.

penis. testicles.

Apparently for the moment that is the only measure of sameness that my daughter needs.

We'll see if this becomes an issue later. For him I mean. She can stop looking at penises. Forever. Or at least until she is um, thirty.

I am kind of a brat about this as a topic. If someone asks me why I didn't circumcise my son I usually say "for the same reason I didn't circumcise my daughter"

Another good question I get is if I thought about how he will feel about it when he gets older. "If he would like to get circumcised when he gets older - he can make that decision." There is inevitably a wince in reaction to this statement. And sometimes it is followed up with - "but it will hurt when he is older" to which I respond - "it will hurt now too."

And then there is my all time favorite one:

"Aren't you worried about the cleanliness?"
To which I become the most smart assish (word?).

"hmm, closed warm folds of skin, does that sound like anything else you know of? I didn't circumcise my daughter for it, I won't circumcise my son because of it either."

And then I usually step off my soap box and get friendly again. I am not sure why but this is one of those things that ticks me off. And don't get me wrong because I don't ever question someone else's decision to do what they do (to their faces) and I certainly don't feel like the penis of any other child is truly my business. So I am always so interested when people question me about my decision.

And I was shocked by how "standard" the practice still is. We had to take several steps while at the hospital to make sure that everyone knew not to do this. We also had to answer more than two calls from the insurance company while they tried to figure out why the procedure wasn't on the bill. And this is with a doctor who, it turned out I found out at the delivery, agreed with us about our decision. I can't imagine having to deal with someone who didn't.

On this same topic - I am legitimately having problems with keeping the little girl healthy down there. She often suffers from that "not so fresh feeling" and it usually stings her to use soap which greatly compounds the problem. Does anyone have any suggestions? Do you think a four year old is too young for a twice daily "whore's bath"?*

(* this is washing crotch and arm pits at the sink for those of you who have no idea what I am talking about.)


R said...

A few things:
1) I love reading your blog. :)

2) Can't WAIT to hear about the searches that bring people to this post.

3) For keeping your girl clean "down there" - don't use soap! Soap is not necessary to clean that area (water is fine) and will irritate it. Same idea - avoid bubble baths.

Mary said...

Love your posts and your responses to questions that are a bit forward. You tell it like it is. I have 2 boys who have not gone under the knife myself but I've also not found myself in any conversations about it- thank goodness.

Henny Penny said...

Great answers! During labor the nurse brought me the circumcision paperwork and I said, we're not doing that. She said, well it's not certain you are having a girl. WTF! Is it THAT unusual not to in our area?

Aunt Becky said...

1)Air her crotch out. No undies for part of the day.

2) Cotton only undies

3) Water to wash her up with.

Motherhood101aplus said...

I would just go with "I was told that there is no medical reason to have it done."

Anjali said...

Oh, you make me laugh. And if I had had boys, I wouldn't have done it either.

KT said...

Our pediatrician told me to use baby wash on the girls' down there area as long as possible. Soap = itchy and/or painful. Bubble bath, same. Actually they told me to let them play in the water before I wash them so they don't even sit in the soapy water. Play, wash then get out. The Husband even does a "final rinse" with tap water and splashes their girl parts just to be sure they are rinsed off.