Growing Desperate

SO it's late and I have to be excused typos.

Maya started a new class week before last. Her brother is still downstairs and starts his day with her old classmates. This morning her two best friends, Hannah and Jordan ran toward her with arms outstretched. They asked if she was staying in their room today.

She was quick to point out that no, she is in the big kids class now. She shrugged them off and asked to go upstairs. I took her.

While several of the children looked up when we entered, no one acknowledged her. No one ran over for hugs, happy for her presence. No one.

And yet she is so happy to be in that room.

It made me think. Not just about the fact that she is indeed getting bigger but about our perpetual movement toward growth.

Even though what we had was good. Great even.

Hugs and kisses missing you good.

But somehow that forward movement is better. Eagerly anticipated.

This is how it will be when she sets off from my arms. And steps into the world of crazy adultness. I will be eager for her and she will be looking forward.

I ache already.