Thursday, December 11, 2008

The Gift of Life

First let me say that this is not an abortion post.

Nope. That's not what I am talking about with my title.

I mean the gift of life that all of you who are reading this are enjoying.

And that's the key.

There are all sorts of sayings and cliches.

Live each moment to it's fullest.

Love what you do.

Life is short, enjoy it.

All of those basic stances lead to the fact that euthanasia is illegal.

And self termination is illegal.

And assisted suicide is illegal.

My grandmother died.


I loved her. And I liked her. Which is an important distinction to make.

She was a fun lady. Full of life and stories. Always moving, traveling, dancing, joking: eating life.

That is my grandmother.

Not the woman who sat in her nursing home room for the past years looking out. Not the woman who laid down for the last time almost a year ago and still somehow continued to wake up every morning.

That was not my grandmother.

My heart hurt every time my father called to give me news about her because it meant she was still here. Still hurting. Still this stranger who was not my grandmother.

And so she died. Passed away in pain.

And I don't believe in Heaven but she did. So I am certain that somehow she is happy and she is with my grandfather.

And all of this made me think of my sister-in-law and the choice she made when she took her own life.

She was not suffering from some mood swing. She did not make the decision in the spur of the moment or take it lightly.

She decided that this was not the world she wanted. She made her calls, made her plans, said her goodbyes and she left.

I can't agree with what that leaves behind. I cannot agree with the hole that she left in my husband's heart. I cannot say I agree with her decision.

But this episode with my grandma has made me realize that I can kind of agree with the sentiment.

Life is a gift. But if it doesn't fit, it stops working, or it's the wrong size, you should be able to return it.

Speaking of gifts, Christmas is only 14 days away.

Stop reading blogs and shop damn it!


Aunt Becky said...

I'm so very sorry for your loss. I can only imagine how you are feeling right now.

KT said...

I am so sorry for your loss. I realize your loss actually started to occur long ago, but I am sorry just the same.