Tuesday, September 09, 2008

If you are not part of the solution...

I am getting ready to go on vacation.

The one real vacation we had planned this year. I was so excited. We are renting a house in Delaware near the shore. The housing community has a pool, tennis courts and a shuttle to the beach and the outlets.

Turns out the husband decided not to request the time off and instead decided to be sneaky and "massage" his reports and not claim the time as official vacation. So they didn't know we had these plans when they scheduled him to attend a show next Thursday. So he will need to leave our rented home three days before our vacation ends and fly to North Carolina.

And he will leave me with my two little ones and both sets of grandparents.

And he is currently in Atlanta and won't be back until Thursday night at midnight.

Which means, once again, I have been left alone to do all the shopping, planning and packing.


Because I am not alone. I have two (very adorable) toddlers to "help me" and no way to go anywhere significant because they must come with me.

And I am pet sitting one dog and two cats across the street. And our neighbors don't have a fence. So the dog has to be walked on a leash three times a day. Did I mention I have two toddlers and no spouse at home? (and that their house is dark at night and I am a scaredy scaredy cat?)

And I am getting tired of the whole "single mom" lifestyle I am living lately.

I am thinking about taking a lover. Or applications for a second husband. Or even a wife.

Today I am feeling like gender equality is just a shitty illusion. It doesn't matter what your title or your salary - you are still the mom, housekeeper and general do everything person. And you are the person everyone else expects to do all of these things.

Tomorrow I might feel better. Maybe.

But I am having a hard time lately with my life role. I am a stay at work mom. SAWM. I find comfort in the fact that there is an acronym for this because lately I feel like such the exception.

All of my female friends and all of my female neighbors are home most of the time. So they have play dates and get togethers and I can never be part of that. I will always be the odd one out. I will never get to fully be a part of that circle.

I am an exception.

And I take exception to that.

I am not sure what all that means. But it has to mean something. All this doing is wearing me down.

In other happier news...I volunteered to go read a book and teach my daughter's class a song today.

My little doggies name is Rags
He eats so much that his tummy sags
His ears flip flop and his tail wig wags
and when he walks he zigs and zags...

I had such a great 1/2 hour of my day. Four is such a fun age! They all seem to be so far.

And in a few days I will be relaxing by the beach...seems wrong to be whining.

oh well. I'm doing it anyway.

1 comment:

O said...

oh no. You are absolutely not whining. You have every right to be pissed. I would be.
I have two "helpers" too but more time so if there is some way I can help (including by coming over and creating a distraction downstairs so you can run up and pack, or by throwing your laundry in with mine since I do multiple loads every day anyway) by all means let me know.
My husband finds a way to spend 11 hours a day at work so I understand completely.
May you have a wonderful vacation when you get there! And really, call before if there's something I can do.