yes, I am the best mother in the world

Oh please don’t be milk
In this mystery cup
‘cause the last one I found
Almost made me throw up

Let it be water or juice
On the ground
Its tragic
What happens to milk
Left around

The odor repulsive
The texture grotesque
And the face that I make
When I found out that
Yes!

This chunky white sludge
Was once milk cold and clean
The nastiest substance that
I’ve ever seen

I pour it out quickly
It clunks down the drain
And I swear I will
Never let it happen again

That is of course until the next time...

The Perfect Knife

There were a few things I never thought I would do as a parent. I never made any "I will never do x" proclamations but there were some things I just thought I would somehow avoid.

One of those things was cutting the crusts off of sandwiches.

But I am sorry. If I leave the crust on then she just barely eats half the sandwich in her overactive avoidance of coming in contact with the dastardly "brown stuff". Off they come.

So it is not so much that I do this that is the issue. Today I noticed that I have become quite proud of my skill at removing the crust. I can leave almost the entire piece of bread in tact. If I use the right knife...

And this morning I stood admiring my work in the kitchen and realized that I was proud of my crust cutting skill. And I am embracing that which I felt I should not have to do.

And so I started thinking about those other things I thought I would not do. And realized that there is a list of things I swear I will not do.

I will never berate my children.

I will never call my child stupid.

I will never pause when I feel like hugging them.

I will never be abusive.

And there is an even bigger list of things I swear I will do.

I will always say I love you when I think it.

I will snuggle with them every chance I get.

I will let them know how much I love them and their father every chance I get.

I will tell them I am proud whenever I feel it.

I will let them see me struggle.

I will bolster their confidence and downplay their failures.

I will do my best to make them confident that they are as wonderful as I think they are.

I will do my best to leave as much of the great stuff in tact, while removing the "brown stuff" with a skill to be proud of.

I will try my best to be the mom that is perfect for them. Not perfect. Just perfect for them.



Maya and I have a game.

"Maya, guess who I love more than you?"

"nobody"

"Maya, guess who I love more than Dean?"

"nobody"

Damn straight.

I am tackling this whole loving your children equally but not the same, thing. Easy as pie.

No crust please.

What? Twice in one day?

Hello again. I was tagged. by don't eat baby so here goes:

Total number of books I own:

Too many. I have BOXES of books waiting for a bookshelf. I have baskets of "just read" books and the empty husks of books long ago "eaten" scattered throughout my home.

I don't know why I keep them. I rarely read a book more than once. I am a book hoard.

Hello, I am Tiffany and I am a book hoard.

Hello Tiffany.

Last book I read:
I am in the process of reading a romance novel by Jayne Ann Krentz. It's bad. pretty darn bad actually. But I have to finish it. It's a rule.

Last book I bought:
So as not to have to revisit the whole topic up there I will instead mention Water for Elephants. Which I purchased recently and LOVED! I subsequently purchased the other two that Sara Gruen wrote and they were also good but not nearly as good...

5 Meaningful books:

Black Beauty.
horses. that's it. what more is there?

Things Fall Apart
Not Anjali's version but the African version. I think the author's last name is Achebe.

Possessing the Secret of Joy
Alice Walker. This one is about female castration. 'nough said.

Forever
Judy Blume. Sex. This one was a huge eye opener for me at the delicate age of say 15...

And then not so meaningful but one of my all time favorites is

The Princess Bride.
William Goldman also wrote Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and is (in my humble opinion) a comic genius...

And there you have it.

I am a bibliophile. I love books, even bad books. I admire the work that went into them and often wish I were friends with the authors, and sometimes with the really good ones, the characters.

I am working on a short story. If anyone would like to volunteer to be a sounding board for a sci-fi ish piece, let me know.

Big thoughts

I have been grappling with a lot lately.

And so I have been quiet. While I contemplate.

The big thoughts take some time.

Like when rape is happening to an entire country's worth of women at the rate of one every 15 seconds can you still call is rape or does it need some other definition?

What answers do I have for my children when they ask me why the bird flies but dogs don't that don't involve God?

Why is it that I sometimes feel like I am watching the play of someone else's life instead of living my own?

How is it that my parents were once as in love as me and my husband but somehow degenerated to where they are now? (and of course, how do I prevent it from happening to us?)

Why does my daughter construct conflict with her imagination?

What will the world be like when my little boy has a voice?

How do I get to a place where I am comfortable loving both my children equally but not the same?

What will I do when my dogs die?

Where will I be living next year?

Should my next child come from my womb or from social services?

How has our country sunk so low so fast?

Big thoughts. And I will work on the answers to them all.

I have been thinking about how my family will be dealing with the question of God and Santa and the myths surrounding them both.

I have been reading Parenting Beyond Belief (thank you Anjali) and have come up with answers that feel comfortable to me. I will share them when they are more solid and can be articulated.

Oh and California was wonderful. My father got angry and stopped talking to everyone on day two and no one seemed to mind. Had some wonderful bonding time with my brother, sister-in-law and my niece.

Here's another one for you? How is it that the love just comes so easily? I love my niece. In a similar way that I love my children. I would move planets for her. How is that?

But you can't question everything.

As much as I would like to try...

Goin back to Cali

So in the wonderful adventure that is my life, I am going to California for work next week. I will be leaving on Saturday and returning the following Sunday. BUT I am taking the family with me!

That's right the whole famn damily is going to San Diego with me. Because my brother and his family live there and my folks will be meeting us there. A big 'ol reunion.

So many things can go wrong with the mix of people that I cannot even dwell on that. Something will go wrong, we will fight, we will stop talking to each other and maybe we'll have enough time to get over it, maybe not.

So... instead I will worry about the flight. And the time change. And my two little dears and what they will do to revolutionize the airline industry as we know it.

Maya had been on several planes by the time she was Dean's age. He has only flown one other time. And he was SO young that most people didn't even know he was there.

Now I am sure that the entire plane will be aware of his presence!

We paid the extra for the separate seat, will be packing food and fun galore. Keeping in mind that I will not be giving him Benadryl (at least on the flight out, I may be singing a different song on the way back) do you have any suggestions for long flights and little ones?

Oh and...
After California I am home for three weeks, then off to New Orleans and then I am home for the rest of the year - actually until Spring! I cannot wait for this mess to be over!

you've got to have faith

I was a huge WHAM! fan.
But this post is about GOD.

This is a topic I have been thinking about lately. Maya asked me about birds and why they fly and why some birds are bigger than others and etc etc etc.

And I thought. "wouldn't it be nice if I could just say - because God made it that way."

So I am formulating my own answers.

I take comfort in the idea that we are all a part of some bigger picture but I am not sure that means I believe in God.

I believe in us.

As a species, a planet, a world.

I believe that we are all are truly connected.

And I don't think that means that we all have the same "father". I think that means we all have the same joys, purposes and end results.

We are all striving toward a better world. For ourselves, for our children.

What that perfect, better world is may change from person to person. Happiness afterall is in the yey of the beholder.

I want my children to understand and be confident in their choices. Not because God tells them what is wrong and right. And ultimately, not because I tell them. But because they have decided their own "commandments" and have decided to live by them.

I want to raise thinking, questioning individuals. And so I have to be prepared with some answers.

"Do you believe in God?"

I guess my answer is that I do not believe in the commonly held belief in God. I do not believe in a judging and "all seeing" God. Beyond that - I just don't know.

And neither does anyone else.

So to my children I say - ask away.

I am still asking.

I will die asking.

More importantly.

I will live asking.

Housecleaners

Apparently on a few blogs there has been some discussion on the ethics of employing someone else to clean your home. Well I want to chime in here. My house cleaner is my hero.

She makes my house this clean smelling sanctum once every two weeks and has ended the constant arguing that my husband and I had on the subject of what clean really is.

He was under the impression that as long as it was straight, it was clean. And I don't care what people say about equality, if you walk into a dirty home you look to the woman of the house and wonder how SHE could live like this.

There are two truths about my house keeping situation.
1. I work outside of the home from 8am-6:30pm Mon - Friday
2. I am sloppy by nature

So I pay someone to come in to:
clean my bathrooms
clean my kitchen
and vacuum my stairs

She and her merry band of three do other stuff too but those are the ones I am happiest about when I come home from work and my house smells like lemony goodness.

So my basic feel is this. If you can afford it, do it. And if you can afford it - tip well at the end of the year.

I would probably pay her to come every week if I was making the only one making that decision, but every other week works for me, for her, and for my husband. And he really enjoys how happy I am each cleaning day.

Oh so here is my works for me thursday (which is in fact my cleaning day!). I always point out to my daughter that the cleaning lady has come and we say "thank you cleaning lady" when we notice something neat and clean. I want her to be appreciative of all the things that people do for her and for us.

It has also back fired because Maya has on more than one occasion blamed the cleaning lady for something missing, broken or moved. Oh well. You do what you can.

Oh and my cleaner's name is Marie and though I have never met her, I love her.