Super Mom

As I sat trying to move four items off of the table yesterday at one time while restraining my 14 month old I contemplated the heroic powers given to me by each of my children.

Maya created: The One Armed Wonder
I still marvel at what one is capable of doing with only one hand. I have mastered knitting single handedly. I can crochet, do needlepoint and cook a full course meal, all with only one free hand. I can, of course, hold a 50 pound bag in one arm for HOURS while completing these tasks with the other.

Dean created: Octomom
Octomom is able to use all eight arms at once. Retrieving precariously perched babes from rocking chairs while simultaneously moving glasses, remote controls, scissors and of course dogs out of reach. Octomom is a wonder to watch. She moves with lightning speed around what at first seems like a perfectly safe and habitable home but quickly turns into a hot bed of danger and life-threatening situations.


These powers combined have made me into: Supermom.
Soother of booboos, reader of books, a kissing and hugging machine.
Look down on the floor! It's a nurse, it's a maid - It's SuperMOM.

What's your superhero power?

The Great Outdoors

Took the wee ones on their very first camping trip this weekend. The boy child was a symphony of non stop motion but was somehow still happily content in the (new) baby backpack we got for the trip. How have we lasted so long without this little marvel? I am wondering if there are other secrets and gadgets I have missed out on? When we took the first babe for nature walks we always used what we refer to as the all terrain stroller. Pain in the butt really.

Anyway Dean was happily enjoying the scenery and playing with what is left of daddy's hair. They looked like a monkey family with Dean grooming the papa monkey. I have some very cute photos.

Maya's highlights of the trip?
"fishing and... going to bed"

We introduced her to bunk beds for the very first time. Need I say more?

I'd love to hear about good camp grounds and or tips for camping with kids if you have them.

Let's talk about Sex - TMI warning

Why not. Seems like most everyone I know is doing it, has done it, will most likely do it again (Most of the people I know have kids so - duh!).
May as well talk about it.

I realized a couple of things about sex recently:
Sex is more important than I thought
Sex is about much more than a physical connection (let me hear your body talk)
Not having sex is bad

I would also say that I learned that sex is more important to my husband than it is to me, but I already knew that. I think sex is a form of communication and connection that I hadn't really given much thought to, until recently. I think he does think about it, feel it that way.

You don't always know what you've got - until it's gone. Or something like that.

Sex left my life for a while. I'm not sure how it left or why. But I barely missed it.

And now it's back.

And life is better. And love is better. And I feel connected and centered.

It seems odd that this is the truth. It also seems odd that this seems odd. I am surprised. And I am surprised that this is a revelation to me.

I am sure there is a chicken and egg question in there somewhere but I am not delving too deeply into this one. I am just enjoying it for what it is.

And that is all I have to say about sex today.

I am posting a poem I wrote a few year's ago because The Book Group I attended last night got me thinking about this again.

Black Denial

I am not black.

I say it with a deep sigh that comes up from my soul and escapes on the wind of my breath.

I am not black.

I carry this secret with me

Even though it rings false on the bells of my heart.

I am not black.

To latinos I am them.

Angry and insistent voices tell me

I do indeed speak Spanish.

“Look” they say, “you are like me.”

“si?”

I am not Latina.

Many try to see themselves in me.

Others try harder to find the differences.

I am not black.

Made clear in the exclusions of my youth

that mocked my cries of racism.

I am not black.

Made clearer when refused admittance

based on my skin tone. High yellow what?

The only reverse of racism is acceptance.

I am not white.

Once I wished for the sun kiss that would make that statement unnecessary.

I am not white.

My grandmother’s grandfather bought his freedom in the fields of North Carolina.

My mother sat in the colored section despite her light skin of confusion.

I am not white.

I am so many things that no one but me will understand.

“What are you?” Is the frequent question.

I am what we all are.

I am wonderful, beautiful, magical.

I am so much more than a color.

Tag, I'm it.

I've never been tagged before. I believe the topic is eight things most people don't know about me.

1. I sing, a lot. Not all that well.
2. I write, a little. pretty well.
3. I moved around a lot as a child. I have lived in NJ, MA, NY, CA, GA, PA. I had several residences in NJ, NY and MA.
4. I like cheesy romance novels. (I call them brain candy)
5. I love musicals.
6. I played drums in a heavy metal band in High school.
7. I am biracial by birth.
8. I am adopted.

There you have it. I would tag someone else BUT I don't know that many bloggers. And the ones I do know Rachel tagged already.

Oh well.

Game over.

Monster Leaps

My youngest took his first steps last week.

Triumphant wobbly steps toward a future of expectation. Such a proud and happy smile as we clapped and praised him. We were so excited!

Shortly thereafter, my 3 yr old daughter made sure that we watched as she took the same path and walked the same walk. She turned to us smiling and waiting to be praised. We were happy to oblige., both of us a little teary as we thought about the same day 2 years ago as she wobbled from my arms to her father's and back again.

She has sat by cheering on her little brother: "good job Dean" "Yay Dean!". She is his cheerleader. She also takes his hand and pulls him along, usually faster than he can travel yet. But she will also walk across the room in front of us and wait for her applause. Torn between her role as little girl and big sister.

When Maya was just learning to walk I used to grab her under the armpits and swing her up and then down on the floor as we moved toward the bathroom. This was a fun way to get her to the bathroom to wash her hands. It was a one way ticket, monster leaps were a to the bathroom only event.

Now that she has grown older we had stopped with the monster leaps request and somehow it is not something I picked up with Dean.

The other day, for reasons unknown to me she asked for Monster Leaps again. I was happy to oblige. And as I swung the 35 pound three year old toward the bath room I knew that the time for this game was short.

She is heavy
She is growing
and Monster Leaps is a one-way ticket

Let me introduce myself

I am feeling pretty good about my world , my love, my kids.
I am feeling empowered and rejuvenated.

It is amazing what a change of perspective can do for you.

We had an empowerment coach come to talk to us this past week. It is so interesting when you take the time to THINK about who you are, who you want people to know, etc. Self definition is a challenge.

So my New Year's resolution this year is to learn something new. I decided last week that the something I learn is going to be me.

My husband always wonders at my lack of fulfillment: great job, great kids, great husband, what could be missing? Well there's the question isn't it? I don't know the answer yet but I am working on it not tainting all that I am now and all that I have now.

Gratitude is another aspect of that. Taking the time to be grateful is hugely important. I am SO GRATEFUL!

My children are these amazing wonderful awe-inspiring people and they LOVE me! ME. I am mommy. The smile I get is only for me. The huge hugs and blown kisses. mine. I will give them everything I am and they will be who they are and for that I am forever, always, infinitely grateful.

My husband is the beautifully flawed man who knows me. He sees who I am and respects and loves me anyway. I have never been known before. It is a wonderful feeling. He is my best life coach.

My job has allowed me to build a life that I like living. I am great at what I do, my employees are happy and fulfilled. The office is a good place to be. All of this is because of me. I need to embrace my efforts, I tend to minimize my accomplishments, modesty.

I look forward to delving below the surface in the months and years to come.

We are ever growing, ever evolving.

Here is my "New Day" resolution: I will work on my personal mission statement. I will take the time to think about me.

Hello, It's great to meet me.